Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize