at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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