how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
