You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
