let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
