It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
