My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
