I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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