then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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