She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
