I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
