Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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