I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
3 2 1 whiskey
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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