So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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