i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
