Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
God, I missed his penis.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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