I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
