You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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