nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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