i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
