when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The ass gains better be worth it
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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