Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
