Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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