I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
