I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
