The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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