Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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