id be glad to
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
