I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
