yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
