OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
