Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
