I hate all girls vehemently.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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