I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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