Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
