is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
