Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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