her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
