My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
