I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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