The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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