First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just had sex on a roof
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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