Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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