I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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