whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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