the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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