The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize