The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
