I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
