I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
