he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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