So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
