Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
