worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
