We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
