For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
