Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
