I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
