haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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