Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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