someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
