Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
