Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
