Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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