after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize