No stitches, just platelets and will power
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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