You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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