i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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