No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
