Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize